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To the distinguished members of the Board of Directors of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, Cleveland, Ohio:

      We have just received word and wish to acknowledge that we have been [chosen/again passed over] for membership in the internationally renowned Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. It is indeed a [great honor/great honor] to even be considered and short-listed for this prestigious award and we stand prepared to [join/be blackballed from] the august company that comprises the inductees of the Hall of Fame, including but not limited to Eric Clapton, James Taylor, Paul McCartney, Bob Dylan, Eric Clapton, Bonnie Raitt, Paul McCartney, and the Yardbirds including Eric Clapton.

      As you may be aware, we are in the midst of a [spectacular comeback year/demeaning sequel to an otherwise perfectly serviceable career] which has already been acknowledged and honored in a profound and moving way - and [induction into the Hall/having been nominated, considered and ultimately rejected by you guys again] is certainly the icing on the cake for us.

      Rest assured that we will be celebrating this momentous occasion by [lollygagging at our ranch with a dog named "Spot" and a boil on our face/skulking out to Starbuck's for a double decaf latte and a pistachio cone]. Of course we shall stand ready to [participate in/boycott] the festive induction ceremony at the pleasure of our fans, to whom we owe everything and whom we have vowed never to disappoint, [ever/or as infrequently as possible]. We shall be [wintering/falling back to lick our wounds] in Hawaii starting any day now, so please let us know as soon as possible [where we can pick up our trophies/that we should go fuck ourselves] and what, if anything, we should wear. Mahalo and aloha nui loha

           Donald Fagen & Walter Becker
           Founders, Steely Dan

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