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I'm here at the Institute with Dr. Clark and his team. They're debriefing me from what I can only describe as the most incredible coupla weeks in my life - or anyone else's for that matter, if you want to know the truth.
First - let me tell you that I am not only Okay, I am absolutely GREAT. I know you must have been worried when I didn't check in after
heading down to yank Stend'or out of that hotel.
Things didn't go exactly as we had envisioned and, as you will plainly see when I tell you the whole story of my incredible adventure, I was in no position to be calling home frequently.
In any case, let me tell you that I am feeling wonderful, my appetite is fantastic, terrific, never better, and when I say "appetite" I don't just mean for food - get it? See what I mean? Anyhow, I am doing better all the time, and Dr Clark and the research team members are really really impressed with the work I've been doing here. I'm getting a lot of attention down here and that only seems natural to me, and everybody I run into here is incredibly friendly and helpful. They're a great bunch of guys and gals.
I'm gonna give you the short version of my story, since the complete version would take far too long, plus you may be able to purchase a video tape soon with the whole story in detail. Here goes: when I got to the hotel, the concierge directed me to Stend'or's suite and let me in with a pass key. At first the room seemed empty, but after about fifteen minutes there I realized that Stend'or was standing right in front of me - all three of him. As it turns out a Rill is a compound being consisting of three separate corporeal entities that are linked up telepathically to form a single personality. This personality, by the way, because it incorporates all three of the sexes needed for reproduction, is completely self-contained in ways that humans are not. Of course, the Rill only reproduce once every 643.6 earth years or so. Between breedings, though, they are very active sexually, with one another and with any other attractive being they come into contact with. They are also, as it turns out, very kinky.
In any case, once I found Stend'or (his bodies are only about three feet tall apiece and mostly translucent), or he found me, we got to know each others very quickly. One day about five days later I woke up and realized that we had been having a non-stop orgy which had begun about a half hour after my arrival in the room. Believe me I was sore all over, and I mean all over - in places you couldn't imagine ever being - but look, I don't want to upset anyone or gross anybody out, I know that ordinary humans are very repressed sexually, most of them. Anyway, Stend'or wasn't through with me yet, finding me to be a very attractive partner as they did (which I found very flattering because Stend'or has fantastic taste!), and it took another three days for things to slow down. That's when I was taken out of the hotel - Stend'or settled up on his way out, by the way, he's no piker I assure you - I was taken out of the hotel and up into the mothership which is in geosychronous earth orbit over the city of West Hollywood. Stend'or took some pictures of me for his album and introduced me to a few of his friends. I was busy, very busy, for the rest of my time on the ship. (By the way, I am hoping that, once I get back to work, I can have the first two weeks of August off - Sten has invited me along for a gravityboarding vacation on the moons of Citron - please, say it's okay!)
The Rill are an incredible race, all day long there is music playing and partying and lots of activity and delicious food, and all they seem to want to do is eat and drink and -
But look, I can't tell the whole story here, it's gonna be on the video tape anyway and you guys are going to be the very first to get a copy, no charge. Right now I have to finish up, because it's 10:30 and
Note from Dr Clark: My name is James Clark, I am the chief psychiatrist here at the VA Hospital in Anaheim, and I am Mr. Weaver's attending physician. The above letter was found in Mr. Weaver's bed after he was rushed to the emergency room, where it was determined that he had swallowed his pencil.
Mr. Weaver was brought to us about a week ago by the local police. He had been found wandering around the bus terminal in Riverside, delirious and dressed only in a tattered brown uniform of some sort. Apart from small localized abrasions and ionic aluminum burns he appeared unharmed. He was successfuly treated for gonnorhea, chlamydia, and crab lice. When he came around he told us an elaborate tale involving, among other things, an alien abduction. We have since determined that his strange behavior here at the hospital is consistent with Kluver-Bucy syndrome, which is caused by ablation of the amygdala. The amygdala is a structure deep in the brain responsible for, among other things, emotional regulation and the inhibition of socially-inappropriate behavior. The symptoms are increased docility, decreased fear, increased and often inappropriate sexual drive, and the urgent need to place objects into the mouth. Mr Weaver displays all of these symptoms , in spades. As I say, he has been with us for about a week, and, although it is perhaps a bit early for a prognosis, I feel confident in saying that his condition appears to be deteriorating slowly but steadily.
Before Mr Weaver is a) released into your custody or b) placed in an appropriate facility for long term care, his insurance status must be clarified. The card he was carrying, which cited you and your company as his employer/insurer, has turned out to be a counterfeit. If you can shed any light on this circumstance please call at your earliest convenience.
By the way - I am one of your biggest fans. Peace out, James
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