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Gaslighting Abbie

What A Shame About Me

Two Against Nature

Janie Runaway

Almost Gothic

Jack Of Speed

Cousin Dupree

Negative Girl

West Of Hollywood


One plush summer you come to me ripe and ready
And bad through and through
With that deep mystical soul synergy pumping steady
Between me and you
Lovin' all the beautiful work we've done, cara mia
And it's barely July
If we keep on boppin' until Labor Day
Li'l miz Abbie - bye bye

What will it be - some soothing herb tea?
That might be just the thing
Let's say we spike it with Deludin
Or else - maybe tonight a hand of solitaire

Flame is the game
The game we call gaslighting Abbie
It's a luscious invention for three
One summer by the sea

With the long weekend that's comin' up fast
Let's get busy
There's just too much to do
That black mini looks just like the one she's been missin'
Feels good on you
There's a few items we need in town - allez-vous girl
There's no time to waste
Such as fresh cable and fifteen watt bulbs
Couple dozen - it's a big old place
Let's keep it light - we'll do a fright night
With blood and everything
Some punky laughter from the kitchen
And then - a nice relaxing hand of solitaire


You can choose the music
I'll set up my gear
Later on we'll chill and watch the fireworks from here

How can you knock this mighty spitelock
Check out the work itself
A mix of elegance and function
That's right - a tweak or two and then she's out of here




I was grinding through my day gig
Stackin' cutouts at the Strand
When in walks Franny from NYU
We were quite an item back then
We talked about her films and shows and CDs
And I don't know what else
She said, yeah, Hollywood's been good to me
But tell me - how about yourself

I'm still working on that novel
But I'm just about to quit
'Cause I'm worrying about the future now
Or maybe this is it
It's not all that I thought it would be
What a shame about me

She said, talk to me, do you ever see
Anybody else from our old crew
Bobby Dakine won the Bunsen Prize
Now he's coming out with something new
Alan owns a chain of Steamer Heavens
And Barry is the software king
And somebody told me in the early 80's
You were gonna be the Next Big Thing

Well now that was just a rumor
But I guess I'm doin' fine
Three weeks out of the rehab
Living one day at a time
Sneaking up on the new century
What a shame about me

What a shame about me
I'm thinking of a major Jane Street sunrise
And the goddess on the fire escape was you

We both ran out of small talk
The connection seemed to go dead
I was about to say, hey, have a nice life
When she touched my hand and said:
You know I just had this great idea
This could be very cool
Why don't we grab a cab to my hotel
And make believe we're back at our old school

I said babe you look delicious
And you're standing very close
But like this is Lower Broadway
And you're talking to a ghost
Take a good look it's easy to see
What a shame about me
What a shame about me



Bad news breaking in 18A
Missy's kitty turn inside out she say
Spider queen demon and that whole crew
Across the lobby the wicker wing chair flew
All the nice people those goodly souls
Quaking in their respective hidey-holes
Everyone's wasted in this gruesome dream
Not a one of them left to hear you scream

Two against nature don't you know
Who's gonna grok the shape of things to go
Two against nature make them groan
Who's gonna break the shape of things unknown

Madame Erzulie she come last night
Bang you silly but leave a nasty bite
There on your nightstand much worse than that
Panatela and old black derby hat

Call your doctor - call your shrink
Western science she strictly rinkydink
They all masissi but we hang tough
Apsatively gonna help you beat that stuff

Two against nature tan and lean
Puttin' big heat on skanky things unseen
Two against nature slinging dread
These boys wanna bang the skulls of things undead

T-Bone Angie she champion liar
Sew the mouth shut with rusty chicken wire
Brother Lou Garue and the Jerry Garry
Sprinkling chicken water gonna hush all three
Beautiful housewife in deep distress
'Specially you deserve our very best
Two against nature they got that stuff
Good things happening when you see about us

Two against nature love this gig
Pull up the weeds before they're too damn big
Two against nature stand alone
Who's gonna chase the shape of things unknown
Two against nature don't you know
Who's gonna drop the boom on things to go
Two against nature make them groan
Gonna go bang-zoom to the moon on things unknown

Scrape the wallboards the whole damn batch
Catch the maggoty eggs before they hatch
Pepper and ratbone make damn sure
Shake the rubbish out on the patio floor
Soak the timber with special spray
Nuke the itty bitty ones right where they lay
Whip the bastards while they still green
Take the firemop - sweep it kissing clean



It must have been my lucky Thursday
Your dad went on that spree
Before the crew could put out the fires
You hopped a bus for NYC
Down in Tampa the future looked desperate and dark
Now you're the wonderwaif of Gramercy Park

Who makes the morning fabulous
Who says today's a fun day
Why do I feel like sailing again
Honey it's you - Janie Runaway

Let's grab some takeout from Dean and Deluca
A hearty gulping wine
You be the showgirl and I'll be Sinatra
Way back in '59
Sweetness in heels - look at you - in long black gloves
Come to old blue eyes tell me - who do you love

Who makes the traffic interesting
Rescues a dreary Sunday
Who makes me feel like painting again
Honey it's you - Janie Runaway

Let's plan a weekend alone together
Drive out to Binky's place
The sugar shack in Pennsylvania
Or would that be a federal case?
We'll take the Big Red - the Blazer - it's nice inside
And guess who's coming along for the ride

Who has a friend named Melanie
Who's not afraid to try new things
Who gets to spend her birthday in Spain
Possibly you - Janie Runaway



I'm working on gospel time these days
(The summer - this could be the cool part of the summer)
The sloe-eyed creature in the reckless room she's so severe
A wise child walks right out of here
I'm so excited I can barely cope
I'm sizzling like an isotope
I'm on fire so cut me some slack

First she's way gone then she comes back
She's all business then she's ready to play
She's almost gothic in a natural way

This house of desire is built foursquare
(The city - the cleanest kitten in the city)
When she speaks it's like the slickest song I ever heard
I'm hanging on her every word
As if I'm not already blazed enough
She hits me with the cryptic stuff
That's her style - to jerk me around

First she's all feel then she cools down
She's pure science with a splash of black cat
She's almost gothic and I like it like that

This dark place so thrilling and new
It's kind of like the opposite of an aerial view
Unless I'm totally wrong
I hear her rap and brother it's strong

I'm pretty sure that what she's telling me is mostly lies
But I just stand there hypnotized
I'll just have to make it work somehow
I'm in the amen corner now
It's called love - I spell L -U- V

First she's all buzz then she's noise-free
She's bubbling over then there's nothing to say
She's almost gothic in a natural way

She's old school then she's like young
Little Eva meets the Bleecker Street brat
She's almost gothic but it's better than that



Teddy's rolling now most every night
Skatin' backwards at the speed of light
He's changed - in a thousand little ways
He's changed - yes indeed
You know he's movin' on metal, yes he's
Hanging tight with the Jack of Speed

Sheena's party - there's a case in point
That right-wing hooey sure stunk up the joint
He's gone - he walks through the old routines
But he's gone - guaranteed
He may be sittin' in the kitchen, but he's
Steppin' out with the Jack of Speed

You maybe got lucky for a few good years
But there's no way back from there to here
He's a one way rider
On the shriek express
And his new best friend is at the throttle more or less

He can't hear you honey - that's alright
Pack some things and head up into the light
Don't stop - he'll be callin' out your name
But don't stop when you hear him plead
You better move now little darlin' or you'll be
Trading fours with the Jack of Speed



Well I've kicked around a lot since high school
I've worked a lot of nowhere gigs
From keyboard man in a rock'n ska band
To haulin' boss crude in the big rigs
Now I've come back home to plan my next move
From the comfort of my Aunt Faye's couch
When I see my little cousin Janine walk in
All I could say was ow-ow-ouch

Honey how you've grown
Like a rose
Well we used to play
When we were three
How about a kiss for your cousin Dupree

She turned my life into a living hell
In those little tops and tight capris
I pretended to be readin' the National Probe
As I was watchin' her wax her skis
On Saturday night she walked in with her date
And backs him up against the wall
I tumbled off the couch and heard myself sing
In a voice I never knew I had before


I'll teach you everything I know
If you teach me how to do that dance
Life is short and quid pro quo
And what's so strange about a down-home family romance?

One night we're playin' gin by a cracklin' fire
And I decided to make my play
I said babe with my boyish charm and good looks
How can you stand it for one more day
She said maybe its the skeevy look in your eyes
Or that your mind has turned to applesauce
The dreary architecture of your soul
I said - but what is it exactly turns you off?




She's lost - she's late
She's zooming on a couch somewhere
Or high - or home
I'm not supposed to call her there

I wait - I smoke
I stare into my coke
It's happening again
I tell myself that it's over and done, amen

Her skin - like milk
It's like she's never seen the sun
Some hearts to crunch
Is more like her idea of fun
I know - she's ill
I'm cruising for a spill
I'm hanging just the same
I need to be in the heat
Of her cold white flame

Another negative girl
At the edge of the frame
Deliciously toxic
The original classic thing - more of the same

She's in the zone
Crying on the phone
I need you here
I'm on the street again
Staggering out into the burn of the brain dead dawn
To arrive in time to find her gone

She's on the train
To somewhere up by Fordham Road
Her reptile brain
Locked down and ready in combat mode
Some cash - a key
This guy she has to see
A doctor friend uptown
And maybe she gets to me when she comes back down

Another negative girl
Spinning out of the frame
Exquisitely limpid
The original classic thing - more of the same

A goof - a buzz
If that is what it was
Then how do you explain
The way she looks when she's
Dragging me out to dance with her
In the summer rain

Another negative girl
At the edge of the frame
Exhausting and luscious
The original classic thing - more of the same



Brother in tears
Look at this chain of sorrows
Stretching all the way from here and now to hell and gone
I was Kid Clean
She was Anne de Siecle
Just a thrill away from punching through to the cosmic wow
It started out good
Then it got lots better
Makin' up the rules as we went along
But with a business like this
There's an gnarly downside

I'm way deep into nothing special
Riding the crest of a wave breaking just west of Hollywood

Swingin' so hard
We burned right through the summer
Till the axis of pain/pleasure sheared the arc of desire
From the Rebus affair
To the streets of Culver City
Places and events slip below the horizon line
Now at this time
Into our pretty story
The truth compels us
To bring a certain name
Meet if you will
Doctor Warren Kruger


She reached out for my hand
While I watched myself lurch across the room
And I almost got there

Look in my eyes
Can't you see the core is frozen?
You can't ask me to access the dreams I don't have now
Sadly for us
Our little talk is over
So together we'll endure the tyranny of the disallowed
Don't you love Port Blanc
When Hooterie is over
When the girls get easy and the crowds are gone
A weekend of bliss
Then the rainy season


All Songs written by Donald Fagen and Walter Becker © 1999-2000. Published by Zeon Music/Freejunket Music ASCAP Used By Permission. All rights Reserved.

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