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As is generally known, the repeal of Pengo Power in 1998 came too late to prevent the aftershocks we now live with: To wit, the Psychotropic Energy Ripples (P-Rips) that still cause disturbances the world over. What once was a disease of machines is, in its current avatar, a disease of the mind. Blessed are those who have so far been spared the two primary symptoms: Brief outbreaks of group-specific telepathic lock followed occasionally (but not always) by the much more serious fits of casual sexual promiscuity in otherwise normal individuals.

Of course, September '99 brought a great breakthrough: B.L.I.P.S. (Bureau of Lingering Pengo Effects) confidently asserts almost 90% predictability of P-Rips in a given area 24 to 48 hours ahead of time.

My name is Hideki Fujidenki and I am employee of Mr Skip Gildersleeve the famous guitar roadie of Walter Becker-san. When I was in coming to work this morning for the new day, Mr Fagen-san was tolding me that he wish to publish now my diary on the excellent website. So - ha ha, here goes something!

May 14 - I come into the Kokusai Forum with nothing to expect for this new Steely Dan job. What will my duties be? How will I perform them, to the best of my ability? Dunno - but soon Skip, who blinks a lot, is telling me my new function: to build for The Two a machine which will have amazing properties! Especially to attract nubile young women with reddish bleached hair, big platform shoes, all over legs, and tiny-to-medium perfect peach breasts that are the most favorite of all. How can this be? It's easy: Skip is blinking and explaining that a new form of energy, following in wake of Pengo disaster of '96, makes possible all this and more. Now he is showing diagram made by Becker and/or Fagen which will illustrate active principle and crude schematic for aforementioned device. This I study.

May 15 - I come into work today, and when I meet with Skip, then I laugh and laugh and laugh! For, as I now explaining him, the drawings he has showed me are the work of perfect idiots or maybe children, certainly not of men. Because I am proving now that a) device as drawn will never have intended effect b) pengo power completely misunderstood by The Two - active principles well understood by all Japanese adults for last hundred years or so - it's so simple, really! c) generating device of the type needed already present in the band setup, in fact consisting precisely of Walter-san's incredibly complex and way-hip guitar effects rack. I need only to invert power source to make Pengo P-Rip Generator that will work like a bastard, straight up no problem! Skip remains doubtful, but by tomorrow we will see that The Two will be allover chicks and deeply thoroughly in satisfaction.


May 16 - Coming to the gig and everywhere the tangy scent of Mango Cooler - most delicious! this is the characteristic telltale scent indicator associated with P-Rip process, and sure sign that things are so cooking. And, no kidding, here is whole gaggle of giggly Roppongi boom-boom babies standing around the guitar rig, chatting and laughing and deciding who is greater, Skip or yours truly. Even famous Steely Girls singers making pussy eyes over in general direction of stage right, perhaps more than we can stand, for now. Wonderful! And engrossing! Chances that I will soon receive promotion or maybe even a great showbiz lay are close to 100 percent.

May 17 - All is for nothing! Band and crew are breeding like crazed Hokkaido snowbunnies, and still The Two are brooding in their horrible little hotel rooms by their sorry selves. What is the problem? P-Rips not powerful enough to overcome rebarbative personalities and/or unmistakable stigmata of age and decrepitude. When will I ever learn how strange and difficult gaijin hepcat people can be? On to plan B, maybe tomorrow.

May 18 - Uh-oh- who is fired? Now I don't work for Skip today - Doug Casper is my new master and there is lots to learn. We go shopping to day on SD cashfloat and what fun we are having now - party hearty on boocoo bucks from Harvey-san's vest of plenty. First I get a new Rolex watch, similar to Doug's, then haircut, manicure, shiatsu - and so quick over to DKNY to get with program ASAP. I look marvelous, and already I am forgetting about Skip and tedious duties as 2nd assistant techie scum. Manhattan, here I am coming now!

May 19 - Doug and I have hired big Harley hog street stormers - Pengo-powered, of course, don't tell Donald and Walter please! - and as we scream through the streets of the High Touch Town we are pulling chicks outa bars like crazy! Wait til we get back to the hotel, we will be heroes for all concerned! Except for this - Doug says we're not going back to the hotel, not for maybe two days. Okay with me. No matter - have given Becker and Fagen card for a love cafe with magic fone number that just won't quit. Schoolies, hip scenes, the whole nine yards - this one is the megilla. Color me "In Like Flynn".

May 20? 23? maybe... - Whoa - how come is my head so big and throbbing? No question, such a great sage St. Augustine proven 100 percent right as usual! Artifacts of chicks and booze and celebration throughout the suite. Who is paying? Last thing I remember is Doug in Matt Helm pajama tops only, saying "try this!". Bright lights in bathroom, spinning and spinning around, plus music by Herbie Mann, pretty disgusting, really. Note to self - must make urology appointment lickety split or else. Steely Dan? It says in Mainichi News that they left Japan three days ago - perhaps in triumph, maybe in disgrace - who cares? Sole of left foot is killing me, shards of glass most likely culprit. Still, Doug is great guy, thanks for fantastic free lessons in the magnificent game of life.

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